The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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