do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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