Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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