and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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