I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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