Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
