trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
