I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
