So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
