I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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