Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
