I'm drive I can fine osifer
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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