Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
