Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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