she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize