Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
