She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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