oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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