ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
