Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You've changed since you got that strap on
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