Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
