is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
