do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
