never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
