Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
