these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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