Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
someone owes me an orgasm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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