Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
