Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
