I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize