either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's always time for handjobs
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
