She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
