you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
