Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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