I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
