Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
