Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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