and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize