i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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