ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
