I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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