I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
