Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
