I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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