what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
