If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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