Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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