we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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