I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
