Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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