i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
