I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize