okay pat passed out under dana's car
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
