Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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