He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We need a shit load of segways right now
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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