so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
