i would punch a child for taco bell
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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