If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
