i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
