I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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