How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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