You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
