she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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