did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I will pee on everything he values.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
