omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
