i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
