You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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