whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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