I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
