If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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